I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I've blown a few things in my day
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
