i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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