Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
