he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
