Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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