Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
