I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
