I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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