What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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