did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
