You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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