i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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