Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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