We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
