Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
