I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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