My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
