yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
