Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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