i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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