I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize