Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
