I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
