Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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