How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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