just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
