And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
