I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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