they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
