haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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