We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
party gras won. party gras always wins.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
