i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
