so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
porn star boner night. come get it.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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