I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Watching her eat just hurts me
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Pooping to opera.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
