How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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