whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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