I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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