I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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