He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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