the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize