Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
