I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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