Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
