god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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