god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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