I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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