Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
