I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize