it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I supernannyed him into submission
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
