Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
