It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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