You're completely useless in the revolution.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
