; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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