you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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