he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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