Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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