Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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