I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
