you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
