Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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