I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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