why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
