Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
