i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
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