They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Randomize
