Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
